After Zia died, people often say that I should try again or ask if we are going to. I like to believe their comments come from a good place but unfortunately it isn’t welcome right now. I wrote this after being asked that one to many times. My daughter wasn’t an accident, she was a much loved and much needed baby. She will always be my Zia, my second child and my only daughter.
It implies that before doesnt matter anymore,
it implies that I must move forward.
it implies that I must count my losses,
it implies that she was a gamble
she could have stayed but had to go.
it implies that i didnt try hard enough,
it implies that she didnt matter,
it implies that she can be replaced,
it implies that I have failed.