The missing link

There is a constant ache in my heart, I wake up everyday and its like something is missing, it’s always there, it’s always present, that emptiness, that void. It’s her, it’s always her.

She has left a hole in my heart, she is that link that completes us as a family, thats what she is, the missing link in our chain.

I live a life of wanting, of needing, of sheer anguish at the reality that she is gone and she will not be arriving any day now. I live with the reality that she was taken away from me so cruelly and unfairly. To say I miss her, is so much less than what it is I feel. I have a deep longing to hold her and sing her to sleep. I have a deep longing to look into her unseen eyes. I wish I was given a little more time, I wonder if it would have been more or less painful if she wasn’t born sleeping. I guess it doesn’t matter because pain, is pain.

She has left a hole in my heart, she is that link that completes us as a family, thats what she is, the missing link in our chain.

I long to speak her name out loud everyday to say Zia, hello my sweet baby, how I’ve missed you. I long to hear her cry and whine and gurgle. I long for the unheard laugh and the untouched palms. This is a painful road I walk on everyday, a painful journey indeed.

She has left a hole in my heart, she is that link that completes us as a family, thats what she is, the missing link in our chain.

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