Do the questions ever end

When you lose a child, especially a stillbirth or death in utero, your beliefs about the significance of life and death are altered. There is always and alternate view to both. On the one hand I celebrate the birth and life of my living child and on the other hand I cannot celebrate the birth of my daughter who has passed away because the circumstances surrounding the events are such a contrast to each other. I do celebrate her life, the one she lived within me and the love I will hold for her forever but I cannnot celebrate the day. Tomorrow is six months since she was born but it’s also six months of her absence. It is and isn’t her “birth” day. I am always so confused at what is and isn’t. That is a by thought, what I actually wanted to write was that even now, it’s so hard to hear the words “did you have the baby yet” from people who have not seen me in a while. I have started to answer the question more gracefully of late, a simple “my baby passed away” seems to work and thankfully the conversation moves from “I am so sorry” to that awful silence which ends in me walking away or saying goodbye on the phone. Do any of you still get the question at this point in your  grief, months after the loss of your child, and how are you coping with it?


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