“No he is not my first child, but he is the only one you see”

I want to say that to everyone who ever asks me that question. I want to say it to the lady in the supermarket and to those that ask me that in passing but I have started not to, not because I disregard your life or your place in our family, no, it is because none of those people really care. They do not care to hear the story of my loss, the story of my life without you, the agony of mothering a child I cannot see or touch or feel. No, they do not and I do not want to share you with anyone who will downplay the significance of you. My reflection for this day is that your story is not a story for everyone. Your life is not to be tossed into the universe only to be thrown right back with those looks of pity. Oh no, yours is a story for those that count, because you count my precious child. I love you so much.

I am a mother to two amazing children, those that matter know that. As often as I can I do say it but today I realise there is a place and time.


3 thoughts on “

  1. I really appreciate this perspective. Almost 8 years after our son, B.W. died – and now with Zachary’s death, all over again, but multiplied – I still struggle with how to answer the probing demographic questions posed to me in everyday life.

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