I read an interesting article on Still Standing Magazine the other day and it got me really thinking about me, Jo-Anne, who am I? What are those things about me which fall outside my loss and grief? what are those things that made me a woman, wife and mother in the first place? Is there any specific word that can define “me”?Over the last year I feel I have lost several parts of myself and I am slowly trying to salvage some of the positive pieces of myself. It’s not easy; in fact it’s quite an effort. The truth is that I will never be the same person I was before I lost Zia but there is another side of me too. So in participation in the Ten Things about Me (Grief Aside) Initiative, here goes. I hope you will join me in this
1. I was born in Cape Town but lived most of my life in sleepy hollow of Pietermaritzburg, Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa. I love South Africa, the colour, diversity, the bush life, trees and mountains. This is home;
2. I have always loved writing and for many of my more youthful years I considered being a journalist. Although that never materialised, I am still in the legal/governance profession which affords me with an opportunity to write A LOT. I blogged for almost three years 2009-2011 about the life and times of being a new mum and wife. I even had a cyber-baby shower in 2009.
3.Not in order of awesomeness, here are the best days of my life:- the day my now husband asked me to be his girlfriend back in 2005. I was in love with that boy for most of my teenage years and that was like a high five, fist pump moment. That was; – the day we got married despite the fact that he was so terribly ill;- the day my son was born;- the day I found out I was pregnant with my daughter;
4. I love to bake for my son. I am actually quite a good cupcake baker but I suck at the icing.
5. I LOVE shoes and at one point I had over thirty pairs of sassy and very sexy heels. I now spend my days walking around in wedges and flats but there was a time I would not be seen out and about in one of those.
6. I cannot swim and I am terrified to learn how to. On that note, we lived in a townhouse complex for a year and didn’t know it had a pool.
7. I have known my husband since we were 5 and 3 years old respectively and we have grown up together. I was the only one that played with him at his sixth birthday
8. I have cheated at Monopoly (but not recently) LOL
9. I have been procrastinating on writing a book about my grief journey; I am 1/3 in in fact. I just need to find the motivation to work on it more diligently. I believe that it is needed from someone in my country.
10. My favourite idea of a night out is when my husband and I take our annual weekend away and go to the movies and have dinner. I love chatting to him about everything and nothing and the freedom that comes with having more time on our hands for us, apart from being parents and talking care of the house.
“I am Still Standing in memory of Zia”.
The link can be found here: http://stillstandingmag.com/2014/07/10-things-grief-aside-link/
July 11, 2014 | Jo-Anne
I posted this because every now and then one must reflect on oneself. Almost a year later its still hard but I have those good days and those awfully hard. I can now allow myself to think back because I had her with me, before grief and sadness took over. Those are good memories, I must hold onto those. A year is so soon, its always going to feel so soon because the time I had with Zia was taken away so soon.we had with our children was taken away too soon.