I miss you Zia, I miss you being here with us. I am sorry you can’t see a movie with us or play with your brother at Spur. I miss that last year on this very weekend, you were still here. It was during this weekend that you moved for the very last time. I can’t pin point when those last movements happened, when was your last kick and tumble. I wish I memorised that so I can think back to it. I miss the hopefullness and antiscipation that you would soon arrive, that I would see you finally, hear your cries and smile as you open those beautiful eyes. I am constantly waiting Zia knowing that it will never be. I wonder if I had gone in one or two days before, would it have made a difference, would anything have changed. I still live in constant guilt although I know I did all I could. I love you Zia, I love you so very much my precious baby girl.


One thought on “Thoughts

  1. Sending you my thoughts.
    I know guilt is so hard to deal with and i wish i could say something to ease your pain. I am sorry Zia isn’t with you today and everyday.
    (her name is beautiful, by the way)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s