I had dreams once, in another lifetime I had dreams, dreams of a life unlike this one. A life where you are not secure anymore, where you realise that time is forever against you, circumstance is against you. A life where despite how much you may try to, you have no control over. A life where loved ones can be taken away from you within the blink of an eye. It’s like watching as the waves wash away names from the sand, written too close to the seashore.
There are other challenges in life and I have been experiencing those since as early as seven years old, coming to the realisation that my life then wasn’t what it seemed. It took alot of time to get to a place of acceptance in that regard but none of it can compare to how I feel today. There isn’t any appropriate words, I just feel your absence so much today. I feel it within me and when I look around at our home, I am reminded just how absent you truly are. A year ago today was the last time I saw you whole, touched your skin and kissed you. There is no you anymore just what is remaining of your little body and memories which I have craft together as the story of you.
Oh Zia, this world lacks you, this world, my world needs you.