The greater loss

Dear Jem,
Sometimes I think the greater loss in life, is the loss of the ordinary,
The loss of the complete family
The loss of arguments with them,
The loss of hopes and dreams,
That is the loss we live with everyday,
I had a thought or vision or longing this morning as I walked up the garden pathway into work,
I thought I saw a teenage girl standing in the garden with a little baby girl on her hips
When I saw them, I knew what we lost,
We lost Jadene picking out an outfit you felt was not appropriate for her age
It was either too sexy or too tight 🙂
I imagine her at 15 years old.
Do you remember how you two used to tease eachother about clothes at the shops?
I think of Zia, now one,
In what would probably be her first fancy dress with those flower bows on her head
And those white winter stockings and vaseline shoes we all wore at that age
That is the saddest thing
Life without,
The constant unknown
The constant absence
I am glad they have eachother and that our two with us have eachother too.
Letter to my sister-in-law who lost her seven year old daughter eight years ago.

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