I am so honoured to be your mother, so honoured to have known you the way I did in our time together, to have felt you move inside me, to have felt your kicks, flutters and hiccups, to have watched as you developed from just a tiny spot on the screen to the lovely baby I held in my arms a year ago. Today would have been your birthday in another lifetime, where babies don’t die, the day of your birth, your due date, so today I honour your life with this prayer flag, on this day of hope and remembrance, I remember you. I remember everything about you Zia.
It was not the easiest project to undertake but it was deeply fulfilling to have completed it on the eve of your should have been arrival day. Hanging it out this morning with your dad and Brady was so special. Watching as the morning sun reflects off the pearls and as the light fabric swayed in the breeze was like being in your presence somehow. Every part of the flag is special to us all:
The lace cut from a curtain representing “home”
The string of pearls is mine. A suggestion from dad, a beautiful and very relevant one, you see, the pearl is the oldest known gem, and for many centuries it was considered the most valuable. The pearl has become the symbol of purity and innocence which is all you are.
The feathers, in the colour I most associate with you, yellow, the colour you wore the last time I saw you, the colour of the sun.
The butterfly, your spirit animal. There has been many a day when a single yellow butterfly has visited our garden, and it reminds us of you, our tiny yellow butterfly
Feng Shui medallions representing the elements of EARTH and GOLD (METAL)
Earth is the element of the mother to child relationship. This element is also regarded as central to balance and is the symbol of stability and being properly anchored.
Earth is represented by the colour yellow which I find most fitting.
Metal is the force of gravity, the minerals within the earth, the patterns of the spiritual bodies and the powers of electrical conductivity and magnetism. This element is also associated with immense strength. Metal is represented by the colour yellow
The starfish from our holiday in Durban last December. Looking at it always makes me happy, I remember a time of peace after the storm of losing you. It reminds me of your brother and dad in the sand or being hit by waves, it’s a happy thought and putting it on your flag is a prayer of hope for more happy days. Incidentally the Starfish is a universal symbol of divine love.
The flowers are also from our holiday, I bought them for sand art, I drew butterflies on the sand and placed these on them. I remember sitting on the sand and listening to the waves, the flowers sticking out of the blue carry bag next to me. Swaying gently.
The Ruby, the July birthstone, which we received from your grandmother, dad’s mum on your first birthday.
And of course, your name, Zia, my light.
My prayers float up as the wind gently sways the fabric
I whisper prayers of hope
Gentle prayers of peace
Prayers all simple in nature
But they mask a deep longing
A longing to truly be hopeful again
To truly feel peace
I love you little baby Zia.
Note to reader: Unfortunately my prayer flag isn’t uploading here. But please see this link to the facebook event where you can view it. https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/787582064606072/813406372023641/?notif_t=like