Capture your grief Day 10: Support


My husband has been my greatest support; I suppose we have been a support to each other, although it isn’t always easy with each of us walking along on our own grief journeys. Having his hand to hold, his chest to cry into and his words to comfort me, has brought me though some really dark times.

Our son, Brady, just five, helps us in so many beautiful ways, the way he remembers her out of the blue and says he misses her. How he has been our reason for living, reason for standing up, waking up, living and dreaming when we never truly thought we would be able to.

My sister in law who has been a pillar of strength and support, acknowledging my daughter as her niece and doing special things for us on those difficult days like buying us flowers and visiting even when we said we were not up for company. She is one of those people who will mention Zia in conversation without being prompted to.

My sister for her kindness and understand when I am in those awful moods. For thinking of us in those months after Zia died and simply being there, no words, just showing she cared.

My mother in law for her messages of kindness, for buying us a gift on Zia’s birthday with her birthstone (ruby). This was such a beautiful and heartfelt gesture.

I think the best that people can do, is not minimize the grief of others. Loss is loss and painful enough without having to defend the significance of your children’s lives to others. People should avoid using those useless cliché phrases which bring no comfort. There should be more support and kindness and understanding shown to grieving parents.
I have also found great support in online communities such as where these individuals have become so much more than a resource but a community and family.


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