It’s Spring, the season of new beginnings. Spring, a reminder of the beginning we never had with you, there was no joy in those days after you were born still and Spring brought with it none that year or the next. I was not ready to welcome Spring with all it’s false promise and I was not ready to start anything.

This year I don’t feel any better than I did back then although truth be told, I am coping, sometimes barely. Some days I wonder how I get through a day. I no longer sit around staring into space as I once did but it’s still not easy. Yes, it is the loss of you, the loss of the two years we should have had but it is so many other things too, all coupled together.

A beautiful pot plant of yellow roses sits on the dining room table next to me as I write this. Yellow a symbol of Spring, Yellow the only colour you wore, Yellow a constant reminder of your absence.


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