This New Year

We are on the cusp of yet another new year and I am reminded that the distance between when I last saw you, held you and felt you grows significantly everyday and I miss you so very much. I miss all the memories we should have been making and I miss those past. I haven’t forgotten you, I can never do that. I simply choose to continue living for so many reasons. If I had a choice back then, I suppose the better option would have been to follow you to wherever you were but the pain was too unbearable at that time and I had no idea if I could make it yet another day. But I did, and the one after that one and so it went.

So this New Years Eve I remember you my child, the one I never got to share a birthday, Christmas or New Years with, I remember you and I want to let you know how very much I love you. I never imagined a life without you yet here I am, living, without you. There was so much I wanted to share and do with you and I know that in this new year, I will do some of them and I will hold you in my heart as I do.

Happy New Year Zia, as the lights of the fireworks all around the world illuminate the night sky, may they serve as a tribute to you and to all the babies and children gone too soon.

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