Thinking of you

I can’t believe that it has been over two years and a half years since I last saw you and held you in my arms. The time we spent together was far to brief and no matter how hard I try I cannot fully accept that you are gone from me forever. I miss you so very much today and I needed to say that I think about often but sometimes I find myself wondering all over again how it is even possible that you died so suddenly and so quietly. I long for the chances I never got, like hearing the sound of your cry and what you would have looked like smiling. I wonder what you would have sounded like, you would be talking a bit more now and walking around, playing and building a relationship with your brother, something I know he so despeately longs for.

I long for you, for mother daughter time, for frilly things and pretty things we could share together. How do I ever fully accept the fact that you are no more and that there is so much we will never be able to have together. My child, I wish so much that I could turn back time and save you, I would give anything for one more chance to do all of this over. How I love you Zia, how I will always love you. These words are not enough nor ever will be. We were supposed to spend a lifetime together.

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