Feeling Lost

Sometimes there are no words left to say, because there is such a deep sadness without you, nothing truly makes sense. I look at the Return to Zero movie everyday, lying on a table in the dining room on a pile of books, still in its packaging, the poster too. I can’t unwrap it because I don’t know how, its almost two weeks since it arrived. I committed to take part in the sacred project but I don’t know where to begin. I am supposed to have long started your prayer flag but I havent. I am just lost, I am just empty, nothing feels right, none of it feels enough . I want to see your name in those honourable in loving memory end credits. I want to see the story of our stories, I want to show the world my feelings and thoughts reflected on a beautiful prayer flag, I want to honour my committment to this amazing project but I don’t know how my child, how do I pay tribute to your life when all I truly want is you, right here in my arms. I love you Zia baby. I love you so much.